Motherhood and Manifestors

In general, managing the energy of being a parent is not a topic that is widely covered in Human Design. We have great access to content about supporting children through their design, but largely, the topic of parenting was not one that was addressed much in the original Human Design teachings, nor is it one I personally have found any specialists on. 

I can’t speak to the experience of being a parent as any other type than my own. As a Manifestor who is also a mother though, I have a wealth of experience. I have three children – a 13 year old 4/6 Emotional Projector, an 11 year old 6/2 Sacral Generator, and an 8 year old 4/6 Emotional Manifester that we call the ‘Mini-festor’. For 13 years I have been navigating what it means to be a mother, and why I feel it in certain ways that other people do not. Human Design helped me to unlock some of those mysteries when it gave me an understanding of what it is to be a Manifestor.

This topic is broad, complex and highly personalised, but I have found three key tips that have been a lifeline to me as a Manifestor mama. This blog post will share those tips in the hope that it will awaken a state of ease and acceptance in your journey too.

Tip #1 Know That Motherhood May Not Fulfill You

Let me go right back to the beginning. I became a parent 13 years ago at 24 years old. I did not feel young, but certainly on reflection, I was very young. I had miscarried my first pregnancy unexpectedly and when I had my second pregnancy I had an expectation that the experience of becoming a mother was going to be so fulfilling. I wanted the movie experience; the moment of crying when the baby is placed on your chest. 

As soon as my son was born, I loved him. He was placed on my chest and I thought that his face was really interesting. I smiled down at him andI felt a certain amount of pride and achievement at having carried this human into the world. But I also felt a distinct lack of fulfillment. There were no tears. There was no overwhelming moment of joy. In fact, I alarmingly felt its absence and it made me question, what is wrong with me? Every other mother feels this way, except me, do I have depression? Am I just a cold heart? Am I going to be a terrible mother? 

It was a fear that I silently carried within me for years. I chose to leave my career and be a stay at home parent, and felt I was working so hard at doing the best job I possibly could as a mother. I was so present as a mother, nurturing, engaged and connected to my child. I anticipated his needs, and balanced my own mental and physical health, despite having a chronic illness throughout that time. I was proud of myself being a good mother (I still am one!). 

About 14 months later, I had my daughter, my second child. And again, I waited for the fulfillment. I waited for deep satisfaction. I waited for that primal sense of deep satisfaction of my purpose. But it never came. In fact, the workload of stepping up to be a great mother to two young children was much harder and I was much more tired. 

My third child was born three years after my second. This time, I didn’t expect the sense of fulfillment to come. And once again, it didn’t. What I did know however, as soon as I fell pregnant with him, was that I was at my capacity. I could not do more than three humans. I couldn’t carry them through pregnancy, I couldn’t do another pregnancy. I couldn’t be physically and emotionally present as a mother. There was a sense of finality and satisfaction in that. But yet…still no sense of fulfillment.

Thirteen years down the track, I’m still being a really great mother, but the pervasive sense of lacking fulfillment in the motherhood role remains. I did not realise that I was not alone in that until a couple of years ago when I came into Human Design and began meeting other Manifestors. I did not realise that although we may be small in number, there are other mothers that feel this way. 

This is in part to do with being non Sacral. With an undefined Sacral center, the sense of satisfaction from reproduction does not exist for us. Quite the opposite, in fact. We are physically and creatively exhausted by the experience of physically reproducing a child and then being responsible for responding to their needs every minute of every day. 

However, where Manifestors differ, is in the disruption that motherhood creates to our journey of impact. 

Through the lens of Human Design, I have now experienced enough conversations with Manifestor women to know that Manifestors, as mothers, are not fulfilled by the role of reproducing. It  does not satisfy us. It does not fulfill us. It doesn’t fill up that tank. That sense that you have within you, that you are here for great things, that your life is not about mediocrity, that you are here for a big impact, for a big purpose, for a big voice, to have a ripple effect, you have an influence to leave a legacy – every Manifestor feels it. It is the very essence of our role as the ‘Initiators’. We desire a big impact from our actions because we are hardwired to do exactly that. 

The reality is, having children does not fulfill that Manifestor urge. 

But we have all been taught very, very forcefully that it will. 

It makes us question ourselves as mothers. We feel inadequate because we are not connected enough, that we could be better if we just forced ourselves to be satisfied with this life and satisfied with this role. So we dive harder into it, let it consume us, taking on the identity of being a mother in the hopes that it will be enough. 

Or we steer right away from mothering in the knowledge that it will not fulfill us.  We choose a career or a business. We seek to fulfill ourselves somewhere else.

I take my role as a mother very, very seriously. I put a lot of work into it. It’s very, very hard. And I show up for it every single day, unrelentingly. But it doesn’t fulfill me and it doesn’t fulfill my purpose. It is simply not enough for me as a Manifestor, which is why I have more in my life than children. It’s why I have a voice and a business. That fulfills me and that expands me. 

As mothers who are also Manifestors, we need to let that be accepted within ourselves. it is ok that having your children does not feel fulfilling. You need to let yourself say that you are a good mother, that you are working hard at it, that it is harder for you than it is for other people, that it is a struggle and that you are showing up for it. You are stepping up and you are being present and you are giving your best day in and day out through low energy, through anger, through dealing with little terrorists who always want to be telling you what to do and demanding things of you. 

That doesn’t need to be enough for you. It won’t be enough. And if the phase that you are in right now is that your kids are very young and it’s all endurance and survival mode, rest assured that as they get older, there will be space created for you see and accept this lesson. You will be able to move into places that do fulfill you and that do feel like enough. You just need to hang in there. 

If you are a Manifestor mother to older children and you have not carved these spaces out for yourself, it doesn’t need to look like a business. It can look like anything. What is your Creative Urge telling you to initiate? Take it with both hands and Inform your family. You are the matriarch of your family. You are the initiator of your family. You go first, you set the energetic tone. You make the rules. You determine the pathway forward. That is the way that it is designed to be.

Tip #2 Understand How Your Children’s Designs Are Interacting With Yours

While it may be true that Manifestors go first, we also need to be open to the understanding that other energy types will respond to us differently. Even as a mother, our children are on the receiving end of our closed aura, and that creates its own unique challenges. 

As mothers, we need to be keenly aware of the uniqueness of our children’s designs, and how those are interacting with our energy.

I first noticed this in our family with our Generator daughter. She is the only Sacral being in an entire family of non Sacral beings. She is also the only 6/2 in a family of 4/6’s. She is very different. 

Often she ends up with a curious kind of reverse Sacral conditioning. As we all rest so much, she is not using up her energy during the day. We often forget to encourage her to move as much as she needs to as a Generator.  

She is also incredibly hungry. As a baby, she was so hungry that she required triple feeding. She was fully breastfed, then would drink an entire bottle, and then she was put on solid food at only three months old. At that time she would eat an entire meal of solid food. She was just so hungry. Now I know that her Generator energy needed the fuel that food gives. She was supporting her Sacral needs. Eleven years later, she still does eat a lot. 

My Projector child is laid back, calm and loves to guide us all towards aligned outcomes. He is excited by my work, excited by any adventure we take, and relishes learning in all forms. His struggle? Feeling unrecognised for the value he brings. As a Manifestor, I need to remember to inform him of how valuable and helpful he is. 

Finally, our Manifestor child is the one that feels the most significant impact of my Manifestor energy. In many ways we resonate completely and have an effortless closeness. In other ways, we bounce off each others closed energy, creating anger and conflict. To read more about working with Manifestor kids, check out my blog post here (https://thehollymaree.com/2022/02/02/parenting-a-manifestor/)

There is no ‘one way’ to bring harmony in your family, because every family is different. I encourage you to take the time you need to deeply learn the energetic blueprints of your children and understand how those energies react to the Manifestor aura. It is only then that we can truly find openness and ownership of our Manifestor energy as mothers. 

Tip #3 Remember That Your Kids Chose You

Finally, let’s come back to a basic spiritual truth –  every single member of your family chose to be in your family. It wasn’t a random lucky dip. As incarnating souls, we each choose our family, our geography, our gender, our energy type and everything else about us that creates our unique, individualised journey through this human experience.

It is no mistake that your children ended up with you. They wanted a Manifestor mother. 

Your children decided to be your children and your partner decided to be your partner in this life. They want you to take that role. This makes it even more important for you to have ownership over your needs as a Manifestor. You need to carve space for your urges and for your rest. You need to learn to inform. You need to find the places that feel fulfilling without expecting motherhood to give that to you. And you need to tell them what support you need from them in order to allow all of that to happen.

I love my children fiercely and passionately. I do largely enjoy being a mother, but I believe that we are in service to a task as mothers. We are in service to motherhood. We are loaning our Manifestor energy to be present as mothers, which is hard. It’s hard because it’s like drawing a magnet back in a direction that it’s not meant to go. But I do think that it’s one of the most valuable things you could ever do in your life. I do not for one second regret any of my children. I feel a deep pride in being the mother to my children. I certainly feel the pride in being a mother to a Manifestor and helping him to grow with this language and this system, to teach him to be who he can be. My little Manifestor can already manifest. He can already initiate. He manifests car parks. He manifests free toys. He manifests friendships and relationships and opportunities. It’s a joy to be the facilitator of that. He chose me to support him through that growth. 

My hope is that this will become more spoken about in Human Design spaces.  As Manifestors we need to know that there is more to the narrative of our existence than simply ‘follow your Creative Urges’ and ‘you inspire people’. Often, we are also partners and parents who need to learn what it means to remain in alignment as we navigate the pressures of these roles when they come up against our Manifestor needs. 

I hope that this blog post alone has been enough to spark a sense of being seen, so that you can lay down some of the burden you have been carrying as a parent. This is an important lesson. 

If you happen to be a mother of another Manifestor, I see you! I understand the challenge of having that energy reflected back to you and trying to live with that. If you are a parent of a Sacral being, whether they are Generators or Manifesting Generators, I see you. It’s so hard trying to release their Sacral energy from your Sacral Center because it exhausts you. It puts you into burnout. It feels debilitating just having to be so up close and being so present to that energy that your body can’t process every minute of every day. If you are the parent to a Projector or a Reflector, I see you. Their penetrating energy can feel so startling. 

This job of parenting is hard work for us, and we do it so well. We do it so capably, but that doesn’t mean that it needs to feel fulfilling. 

Remember that you are magical, Manifestor.